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rainbowmods2011-12-29 06:28 pm
Platinum Blonde
Made by
subluxate and five_steps_backTheme: TV
1. Nothing suits you like a suit.
2. So get off the field at the Superdome, 'cause you ain't no Saint.
3. A magician's best friend is a drunk audience.
4. Let's go to the mall everybody!
5. Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first. And I will punch you in the face.
6. Two beavers are better than one.
7. 'Til they graduate, and we destroy it with sledgehammers... as a family.
8. Oh, so dating you's like winning the lottery?
9. Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.
10. Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.
11. OK, it involves a game of "Truth or Dare", a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
12. We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me. How is that a relationship?
13. She's still drunk from last night.
14. Wait a minute. You're able to cross the threshold of a church?
15. Gay marriage is going to cause single life as we know it to die out. Think of how the American family will be strengthened!
16. I know you love him and if you knew what he was going through right now you wouldn't be here for one more second.
17. What I’ll have, oh I don’t know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
18. If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
19. Jelly beans, fluffernutter, Gummi bears, ginger snaps- this is a grocery list.
20. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep!
21. Oh you didn't hear? I'm a lead anchor on CNN and I've got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold!
22. How do these bad boys feel in bed?
23. After he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, I made an impromptu presentation using a four-prong approach which really brought him to his knees.
24. We wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.
25. At tomorrow's game, if you're anything less than a teddy bear stuffed with cotton-candy and rainbows, I will silent-treatment your ass into the ground. You will think the time I found your Internet search history was a picnic.
26. I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
27. She's keeping on saying to play the bagpipes harder, but it sounds like he's bagpiping her pretty hard.
28. Are you gonna order a drink, or are you just gonna stand there looking stupid?
29. Ted, your mother is a very, very erotic woman.
30. Quick question. How are you guys going to handle the whole Santa thing?
from How I Met Your Mother
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